Take some time to sit and really ponder upon the questions:
1. What do I want inside of my marriage? What kind of connection do you want with your partner? What do you want the dynamic to be between you? How entwined do you want to be in the partner’s life and work?
2. Take some time to ponder the positive what inside of your marriage makes you happy? What do you love about your partner? What do you love about your marriage?
3. Ask yourself what is bothering you inside of your marriage? Why is it bothering you? Is there anything you can do to move past it?
4. Now that you have an idea about what you want, and don’t want. Ask yourself: How can I ask for what I want? If this idea makes you feel nervous or unworthy ask yourself: Why do I feel like I don’t deserve what I want? Why am I afraid to ask? Am I scared I will be rejected? Do I feel like asking for my needs is selfish?
5. Ask yourself: If I ask and I am granted all or even some of the things I want. What would I feel like? What would my life be like?
6. Ask yourself if you are acting out against your partner because they don’t understand what you want or how to give it to you? Is there a way you could communicate your needs more clearly?
7. What is the worst that could happen if I ask very kindly and without being demanding for some or all of my desires and my partner says no?
This is a great starting point for getting in touch with how you are really feeling inside of your marriage. When you know what you want you can have a clearer picture of the why behind many of your actions and choices. I hope this exercise gives you some insight into your marriage. If you would like more support please join our private and confidential Facebook Group